Solo Aging—Going Solo in Your Golden Years
Stacy Davenport, a life coach in Austin, Texas, was approaching 60 and becoming worried about her future. While her friends in Austin and nearby communities were married and had children, Davenport was single and did not have children.
“I was flipping out and talked to a friend about why I was anxious about 60,” Davenport told AARP. “If I get sick, I have nobody to take care of me.”
As it turned out, Davenport suffered two minor strokes the following year, in 2018. Although her friends took her to the grocery store and to her doctor appointments, she became aware of what happens when relying on friends who have their own responsibilities. Davenport, now 65, said her experience “woke me up to I’d better get my stuff in order.”
So, she designated a niece in Florida as her executor and beneficiary, granted her medical power of attorney, and added her niece to her bank account.
Davenport is among 12 percent of adults aged 50 and over who are considered “solo agers,” according to a 2021 AARP report. Solo agers are defined as:
- An individual or couple without children
- An individual who never married or had children
- An individual living alone due to a divorce or death of a spouse or partner
- An individual or couple whose children or relatives live far away or are estranged
According to 2023 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, about 28 percent of people 65 and older—or 22 million older adults—live alone. In recent years, this population has garnered significant attention from aging experts and researchers.
In fact, starting this year (2024), May 15th marked Solo Agers Visibility Day (SAVvy Day), a recurring recognition of Solo Agers during Older Americans Month. SAVvy Day is designed to acknowledge solo agers’ status, raise awareness about their numbers, and educate others on how family members and friends can support them.
Solo Agers have unique challenges. For example, if they have health problems, many do not have family members, friends, neighbors, or caregivers who can help them with their daily living activities. They also do not have anyone—whom they trust—to help them make healthcare and financial decisions or provide emotional support. According to AARP, only an estimated one-third of solo agers have someone to help manage their households or handle daily expenses if they can no longer do it themselves.
Nonetheless, aging experts say solo agers can still live satisfying and productive lives.
“Solo agers have been shown to be as healthy and happy as other older adults and live just as long,” Sara Zeff Geber, an aging expert and author of Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers, A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults, told Fox News Digital.
The idea of aging without family support is not new, especially in instances of widows and childless individuals, Bei Wu, vice dean for research at the NYU Rory Meyers College of Nursing, told Fox News Digital. However, the idea of “solo aging as a distinct concept with its own set of challenges and considerations has emerged more prominently in recent decades.” Wu said.
Solo aging emerged with Baby Boomers
Geber said she has been interested in solo agers since 2012 when it appeared that no one was researching, writing, or talking about this population. In an article for Generations, a journal of the American Society on Aging, Geber explained that before the Baby Boomer generation (1946-1964), most people married had children, and did not move out of the town where they grew up. There were fewer divorces, “earlier and quicker deaths,” and closer relationships with family.
Boomers contrasted with the previous generation. With Boomers, the birth control pill was released, more women went to work outside of the home, equal opportunity laws were passed, and it was easier to move around. The 2021 U.S. Census data showed that the percentage of people who did not have children, whether intentionally or by circumstance, nearly doubled with the boomers and has stayed elevated in later generations.
Solo agers should make plans
Aging experts say solo agers should take control by planning for their future and partnering with individuals, professionals, and community organizations to assist them when needed. Some things solo agers are advised to put in place include:
1. A power of attorney. There are different types of power of attorney, and each has its own advantages. For example, a durable power of attorney manages finances if older adults cannot handle them themselves. Solo agers can determine which type of power of attorney is best for them.
2. Long-term care planning. Solo agers can make decisions about how to pay for or receive care and who should provide care if they are no longer able to care for themselves.
3. Deciding where to live. Solo agers have housing options, including aging in place in their own homes, moving to a senior residential facility, or sharing housing with a friend or extended family member.
4. Transportation. Some solo agers still drive. However, those who do not drive must decide where to find reliable transportation.
Also, solo agers can find resources in their local communities, such as businesses and organizations that provide specific services for older adults.
Developing a social network
Solo agers may live alone, but many of them, like David Fink, are not lonely. Fink, 62, of Chicago, says he has friends of all ages, partly because he once owned a theater. Now, he promotes live performances and connects with people “in all levels of society.”
“People keep adopting me,” Fink told AARP. “If you live your life with a positive attitude and do interesting things, people befriend you.”
Aging experts recommend solo agers build a network of extended family members, friends, neighbors, and professionals. The key is finding people who live nearby and are willing to do anything from grocery shopping to shoveling snow. The challenge for solo agers is finding the “right people” to carry out their wishes, Geber said.
Organizations like DOROT in New York City also offer programs specifically for solo agers. DOROT (the Hebrew word for “generations”) started a six-week Aging Alone Together program that explores various topics, such as how solo agers can determine their priorities and develop strategies to meet them. The program also examines challenges specific to solo agers and helps them recognize that they are not alone in their solo aging journey.
Dr. William Chopik, a researcher and an associate professor of social/personality psychology at Michigan State University, says it’s never too late for solo agers to look for new friendships as social connections are vital regardless of age.
“You might feel embarrassment that you don’t have extended family or that many friends,” Chopin told AARP, but “you don’t really need super-long-term friends to benefit your happiness and well-being.”
Source Links:
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2022/solo-agers.html
https://partnershipsinaging.unc.edu/past-initiatives/solo-agers/
https://www.foxnews.com/health/solo-aging-becomes-more-common-heres-how-thrive-your-own
http://generations.asaging.org/confronting-challenges-solo-aging
https://www.forbes.com/sites/sarazeffgeber/2024/05/03/spotlight-on-solo-agers-for-older-americans-month/#
https://www.kiplinger.com/retirement/things-solo-agers-must-do-now
https://www.dorotusa.org/agingalonetogether
