Get Happier As You Age
Dr. Kerry Burnight has witnessed much suffering among her geriatric patients. For example, in the first 20 years of her career, the geriatrician said she regularly saw people alone, “slumped over in their wheelchairs, who were like, “I don’t have any purpose in my life.”
At first, Dr. Burnight thought that this was just the result of aging. However, after reviewing a ton of research, she realized that some people thrive as they get older, while others don’t.
This motivated Dr. Burnight to take action to help older adults enjoy their lives. After all, if seniors have lived this long and aren’t enjoying their longevity, then what’s the point?
So, Dr. Burnight created the term “joyspan” to describe the feeling of well-being and satisfaction experienced with longevity. She also provides advice on how to achieve a better way of growing older.
In an interview with TIME, the geriatrician expanded on the idea of joyspan.
“Joyspan is for anyone who’s aging, and guess who that is? Everyone,” the doctor said. “Joyspan focuses on the quality of your long life—and it isn’t just chance; it isn’t just genes. It’s these small, everyday habits and outlooks that we adopt. It’s up to us to lean into growing older, and to change the question from how not to age, to how to age with vitality, with beauty, with relevance, with humor, and with gusto.”
According to Dr. Burnight, the earlier you start, the better.
“What improves your life from 83 to 84 is the same thing that improves your life from 23 to 24,” she said.
In her book, Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half, Dr. Burnight offers tips on how to improve the experience of growing older. Among the habits she recommends that older adults develop are:
1. Make growth a priority as you age.
According to Dr. Burnight, we may want to begin prioritizing our growth by first creating personal affirmations, such as:
- I am committed to my growth, even if it means embracing challenges.
- I am looking forward to doing things that I have never done before and having fun in the process.
By doing this, we will become a different older adult compared to those who say, “I can’t do anything anymore because of my age. So, I’ll just stay home.”
Once you’ve committed to personal growth, ask yourself: “What am I currently doing that is growth?” According to Dr. Burnight, growth starts with curiosity, such as wondering, “What is cryptocurrency?” Or, “I wonder if I could learn how to apply makeup so I can draw eyebrows on women with cancer.”
The next step is taking action on those things. As we age, Dr. Burnight says we stop doing things that challenge us. So, “we need to get back in the habit of pushing ourselves to do things that are a little hard.”
2. Stay Connected With Other People
Dr. Burnight says that people who are good at connecting take the time to invest in both new and existing relationships. They are the ones who make the first call, volunteer to drive a friend to his or her doctor’s appointments, or remember important dates, such as the passing of a friend’s loved one.
“I have people come to me and go, ‘Nobody calls me, nobody invites me anywhere. I don’t have anything to look forward to,’” Dr. Burnight said. “I listen with love, and then I say, ‘Tell me about the invitations you’ve extended. Tell me about the people you texted.’ And every time, they go, ‘Oh, shoot.’ At every age, we need to be putting ourselves out there, even if it takes knocking on five doors to find our person.”
3. Learn How to Adapt to Change
One of the hardest things for older adults is adapting to change. Adapting involves changing in response to difficult situations. To be happy and to grow, Dr. Burnight says we have to learn how to deal with challenges.
“The way you’re remembered in life is largely how you walk with your hard thing, whatever it is,” Dr. Burnight said. “There’s this quote from Henry Miller I always think about: ‘There is nothing wrong with life itself. It is the ocean in which we swim, and we either adapt to it or sink to the bottom.’”
Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or something else. There are different ways to adapt to change, including practicing gratitude, which sounds easy, but for some people, it’s not that simple.
“I see it over and over again when people wake up in the morning and go, ‘I have to do this, then I have this doctor’s appointment, and this is wrong, and my daughter’s getting a divorce,’” Dr. Burnight said.
Practicing gratitude is just the opposite.
“You proactively wake up in the morning and go, ‘I have a soft pillow. I get to go downstairs and have some coffee. I’m going to call this person. I’m going to pet my cat.’ And then, you start seeing things to be grateful for everywhere you look.”
4. Give To Others
Dr. Burnight believes that when we give, we are actually sharing a part of ourselves. So, it’s a good idea to set a giving goal, like performing a small act of kindness each day. The more we do it, the more it becomes a habit, and “before you know it, you feel great because these acts of giving feed you as much—if not more—than they do the person you’re giving to.”
When we give of ourselves, others will take notice and may want to become like us, just as Dr. Burnight said she could be like one of her patients that she admires.
“I have a patient who’s almost 100, and she is the best listener in the world. Everybody—her kids, her nurses, the grandkids—can’t wait to be with her, because she’s such an engaged listener,” Dr. Burnight recalled. “When I look at her, I think, ‘Oh my gosh. Even if I have all these challenges, I could be like her, because she has something to give, and she’s giving it.’”
Joyspan Also Has Health Benefits
The same things that increase your joyspan, such as feeling good about giving to others, have also been shown to increase your lifespan (how many years you live) and your healthspan (how many of them are spent in good health). For example, studies have found that the “high” you can get from giving to others can reduce inflammation, which is linked to a longer, healthier life.
Dr. Burnight said her mother, now 96, started these practices 20 years ago. And despite living alone, having congestive heart failure, experiencing bankruptcy, and the death of her husband, “She’s the best version of herself that she’s ever been,” her daughter says.
“And she’s not unique,” Dr. Burnight said. “There are millions of people who are doing this, and it’s possible for all of us regardless of external circumstances. I want to normalize that, so we can all recognize that this new longevity—this new old age—is different.”
Source Links:
https://time.com/7327940/joyspan-kerry-burnight-longevity-old-age/
